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26 February 2008 @ 10:58 am
Disliked Weather Condition #2  
For those not keeping track at home, Disliked Weather Condition #1 is "Temperatures below 0° F"

I had forgotten that precipitation from the sky comes in 4 modes rather than the generally accepted 3 (rain, ice in various forms, or snow).

Last night, it was slushing.

Not snowing or icing and then melting on the sidewalk. This was actual glops of slush that were not fair play to throw at one another when we were kids. Dropping from the sky. Landing in the collar of my coat, of course.

Blech. Especially when Jack is feeling a bit dainty about where to go to do his business while I stand as restroom attendant in the dog park of life.

Please mark your scorecards.
 
 
Current Mood: contentwarm inside
 
 
 
Robautographedcat on February 26th, 2008 04:12 pm (UTC)
As the master tells it....
There was one time I really wanted revenge.

Revenge. I'm telling you right now, boy. I hated that guy so much. And I got it. Got it good.

See, I had a snowball in my hand. And, uh, I was going to hit Harold with the snowball, see. So Harold was coming down the street, and I was laughing to myself because I know how funny Harold is, see. Every time you hit him with a snowball in the face BLOP! he always says the same thing, he says "Hey man, what you want to hit me in the face with a snowball for, man?"

And I just laughed "ha ha ha ha ha!" So I'm just waiting for him, man. I got this light fluffy snowball, you know, ready to hit him. And that's the rules of the game. You cannot hit a kid in the face with a slushball. A slushball, it has ice and water and gunk all in it, you know, and you can't hit a kid in the face with it. You can not drop it in his open galoshes either, because it sends him home, you know. "Hey, what did you want to drop it in the galoshes for, man?" You know.

So. I'm tickled to death, man, because I know PLOP! "Hey man, what you want to him me…" And he's about three feet away and I raise up to hit him and suddenly POW! On the side of the face… And it was stinging… And all the juice ran down in my underwear, and everything. And there was ice all in my ear.

Somebody hit me on the side of the face with a slushball!

And I looked around with one eye and there's old Junior Barnes just a'laughing. "Ha ha hah ha! Cosby, I got you good, I hit you real good, didn't I? Ha ha ha ha ha!" And I said, "Hey man! What you want to hit me on the side of the face with a slushball for, man?" And I picked up the snowball and I threw it at him and I missed him and he started running I said, "Junior Barnes! You come back here!" And I chased him and I threw another one at him I couldn't catch him! And I cursed at him I was so mad!

"You gunky! You stink! Junior Barnes, you gunk! Come back here, I'll punch you right in the mouth!"

Hit somebody in the face with a slushball. Let all that stuff go down in their underwear.

And I didn't even care. I just sat right down in the snow. I was so mad. And it started to melt right thorough my four pair of corduroys. And I didn't even care. Because I know when I go home the only thing my mother's talking about:

"You dummy! How come you just sit down in the snow and let it just melt through your four pair of corduroys?"

"Yeah mom? Well what do you care? That's all you care about, somebody sitting down in the snow and letting it melt through your four pair of corduroys. You don't care that Junior Barnes hit me on the side of the face with a slushball and let all the gunk go down in my underwear because if you did care you'd go out and get him!"

I'm going to get Junior Barnes. I'm going to get you Junior Barnes, boy I'm going to get you. And I started to make a snowball for Junior Barnes. I made a snowball that was so round and so perfect. And it's got a little name inscribed (on it) says "Junior Barnes." And I went out looking for Junior Barnes.

"Junior Barnes? You gunky… Oh… Junior Barnes." I couldn't find him. And it was 7.30. I had to get home before the monsters come out. And I took that snowball home. And I put it in the freezer.

And I waited.

July. July 12th. My birthday. It was 104 degrees in the shade. Not a snowball in sight.

Junior Barnes was sitting on the steps in front of my house. I was standing there with him. I had gone to great lengths to prove to Junior Barnes that I was his greatest friend. Let him drink out of my orange soda bottle without even wiping it off. And old Junior Barnes just sitting there telling his little jokes, "ha ha ha ha ha." And I was laughing right with him, "Junior Barnes, you are so-o-o-o-o- funny ha ha ha ha ha!" And I said, "Junior Barnes, I'm going in the house, and get an orange soda for us. You just wait right here. ha ha ha ha ha." You gunky.

And I walked in the house, and opened that freezer door, and my mother had thrown the snowball away.

So I went back outside and I spit on him.

(by the great Bill Cosby, of course)

Edited at 2008-02-26 04:17 pm (UTC)
Scott Snyderbardiclug on February 26th, 2008 04:21 pm (UTC)
Score
Max: 1
Bill: Doody
Maia Cmaiac on February 26th, 2008 04:24 pm (UTC)
When it's slush all over, of course Jack is going to be dainty about where he goes.

I don't hate winter, as such. I hate having to go out into the cold, usually while it's still snowing, and remove snow from about 1400 sq. ft. of pavement, usually while the snow is still coming down. I've resented winter much less since I got a snow blower, but I still hate slush because it's too sloppy and heavy for the snow blower to deal with it, but I still have to remove it from the pavement or it will inevitably turn to ice.
Occam's Pyramidoccams_pyramid on February 26th, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)
What we call sleet, although it's apparently different usage on your side of the pond. Very nasty stuff, anyway.
archiver_timarchiver_tim on February 26th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
I know sleet as frozen rain. Slush is nearly not-frozen snow.
Occam's Pyramidoccams_pyramid on February 26th, 2008 07:22 pm (UTC)
Definitely different usage. Sleet is mixed snow and rain as it falls, slush is partly melted snow - it fell as snow but is now a snow/water mix
Bill Suttonbedlamhouse on February 26th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
slush is partly melted snow - it fell as snow but is now a snow/water mix

It is that here as well. I used it in reference to stuff falling from the sky in a tongue-in-cheek sense.

While sleet in archiver_tim's definition might have some rain mixed in, the separation is that sleet here consists of ice particles rather than snow crystals. There isn't really a name for "slush from the sky" here - they usually just call it "mixed rain and snow".

I call it blecch.
Occam's Pyramidoccams_pyramid on February 26th, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
Ice particles is hail, whatever the size - we usually just get frozen raindrops.
carolfcarolf on February 26th, 2008 09:13 pm (UTC)
You have all my sympathy ... NOT!

I know it was uncomfortable. I know wet and cold together are just this side of Hell. And the colder it is, the pickier dogs get. Been there, t-shirt, you know the drill.

But, sub-zero temperatures keep the molds and fungi in check. I like that. I like that very, very much.

You can't take away my sub-zero days! (Global warming has that market all sewn up.)
Bill Suttonbedlamhouse on February 26th, 2008 10:29 pm (UTC)
Take note I only said "disliked".

Essentially, after years of being too hot, I'm finding out once again what my limits are in terms of the other end of the thermometer.

Below freezing will keep molds and insects away. When it gets below zero, that's when I'll start saying it is cold. Too many below-zero days and I'll start wishing for spring (say, a nice 30 degree day...)
archiver_timarchiver_tim on February 26th, 2008 10:02 pm (UTC)
Joel Mabus explains it much better in his FIVE KINDS OF SNOW
© 1994 by Joel Mabus